FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually
says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded
to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am
and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she
tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for
each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know
how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from
all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally
said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had
this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just
love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
